Why I stopped listening to "Good Intentions".
We need to talk about something. It's something that is a hard topic because it seems harmless.
I want to talk about Good Intentions. I want to apologize, as I have been guilty of Good Intentions.
Most people have good intentions, but the problem is it's usually wrapped up in our own fears, beliefs, and desires of the world. Its very one sided.
It is not always moral, it is usually justified by our own core beliefs on the world, how things should be done if we could control everyone and everything.
We, ourselves can cause our own pain by acting out of good intentions. I am guilty of that too.
I have found people with "Good intentions" or I'll say "fake love" for me (shout out to Drakes song) were actually the ones who most often clipped my wings. They don't truly believe in me. They don't truly trust me and they speak out of fear.
Fear that they may get left behind, fear that I may get hurt, fear that they may never be as bold as me, fear that they may have to have pain, heartbreak, good and bad, emotions, and failure.
Fear that they may have to make a change, start thinking differently, start revising their road map.
Good intentions mean nothing. It is a plan, an idea, a wish, an opinion, it is not tangible.
Good intentions are exhausting. It comes from a place that is "good" but leaves everyone unfilled, empty, and usually right back at the start.
Life takes hard work. It takes accepting that there is good and bad. It takes standing up for what you believe in and having the courage to tell people no. It requires you to filter good intentions and opinions. It requires you to find harmony in relationships and within clients. It requires you to not settle and it requires you to train and sharpen your mind.
It requires us to love and accept ourself, our real self and stop comparing it to an ideal or someone else's opinion or intentions for our life. This is the only way to grow, transform and heal.
Within Good Intentions, comes opinions.
Take very few opinions. Do not listen to everyone.
For years I have struggled with taking opinions from everyone. It comes from a longing to understand and find who I am as a person.
I was someone who would be blown in the wind, trying to hear and please everyone. I lacked the courage and boundaries to pick things in my life as I longed for acceptance. I had a hard time choosing what I believed in, what I wanted in life, and what I needed to do to be a healthy human.
I heard it a few years ago. "Take very few opinions".
It changed my life. I have to remind myself of it still.
The idea is that you should only take advice or opinions from people that are where you want to be and then compare it to what your after in life.
Do they line up?
If so, that opinion may have value. If it doesn't line up, that opinion should be ignored.
This includes opinions from your family, close friends, the internet comments, media, clients.
Everyone has an opinion, which is great, but that doesn't mean you have to listen to it.
Some opinions may be even correct, but just not for you.
What kind of relationship you have with those opinions is what matters.
For me, I had to lay out who I am, where I want to go. Then I had to start to put up boundaries from people that were not helping or improving my life, toxic people.
I stopped listening to people who would say one thing and do the other thing.
Maybe you can relate.
I know your all smart, so I think my point has been stated.
If it helps you, let me know.