This isn't rocket science. It's super simple, which may be why it's so hard to implement.
If you want to get better at something, you have to surround yourself with people that are better than you. You have to find people that are at the next level or even five levels ahead of you. This directly applies to all aspects in your life.
In order to get better, you have to want to get better. This is probably the biggest hinderance for people. It's not so much that you can't find people that are more wise and successful than you in life that want to help you. The problem is most people won't put in the work, they don't want to bring light to their darkness. I understand this. I have gone thru this.
If you want to get fit and healthy, surround yourself with people who value that, soak up all the knowledge and wisdom you can from those that are already doing it. Don't surround yourself with poor food choices or people that will allow you to continue to backslide on your goals.
If you want to move forward in your career or job, focus on talking with people that have already had that position or are light years beyond that position. If you want to make $100,000 in a year find someone who makes a million in a year. They essentially crush your goal every month. They will have wisdom that trumps any of your talent and will power.
Don't be afraid to ask questions. You need help, just like everyone else.
If you want to become an adult... if you feel like you're in your twenty's and early thirties and feel like your being dragged thru life then talk with some people who are in their fifties and sixties who have lived some life. Don't continue to go out, party, and passively ignore you're issues. Life is short, and that doesn't mean you should just do whatever the heck you want and ignore growing up. Life is a waste if you act like a child for all of it.
By surrounding yourself with better people, you have to be ready to be called out. You have to approach every conversation with the mindset that you don't know everything and that there might be a lot of things you don't do correctly. This isn't a direct personal attack on yourself as we are all raised and culturally conditioned as people, but it does require a certain amount of self awareness that you don't know everything and that the history of mankind can teach you somethings.
The benefit of doing this is that you learn more about yourself, you improve quickly, you surpass your goals with great speed because you are gaining the wisdom of people that have literally done what you dream about doing. Not only do they do it, it's easy for them at this point in life. When you put a bunch of smart people in a room you get a collective genius. This is how you get better and make better products.
In order to get better you have to be willing to lay down all insecurities. I used to spend a lot of my time thinking about people and how they think about me and talk about me. The wake up call was that they rarely even think or talk about me. I am not that special. I used to spend so much energy worrying about what others think about me only to learn that they don't really spend their time focusing on me in general. That mindset is selfishness. I used to walk into a place and wonder, "What do they think of me? Do they think I am cool? Did I wear cool enough jeans? Do I meet the requirements for being cool enough to be here?"... and the reality was people don't even think about me at all most the time. I am just not that cool to have everyone focus on me when I walk in, and thats a good thing. That would just inflate my ego to an unhealthy level if I am being honest.
Having people in your life that are years ahead can help rebuild you and get rid of insecurities. All these things that we worry about can be rerouted. Instead of asking those sorts of questions they can begin to help us focus on better questions. The type of questions that move us forward in life instead of backwards. The type of questions that get us out of our head and into reality. The type of questions that grow us and mature us. The type of questions that really come from a place of love. Theses are the people you want around you and who make you better.
It takes time to find these people. The reason for this is that it takes a lot of time for people to really start to understand you, to know how you tick, what makes you come alive and what makes you shut down, what makes you laugh and what makes you cry. It may take some years of foundation and investment to find these people or for those people to want to invest into you, but I can testify that it's always worth it. There is nothing more valuable then having people in your life that call you out when they known you're headed down a bad path. There is nothing more valuable then having people that will tell you that you're making a foolish choice or that you need to refocus you're priorities or relationships.
What I have learned by trying to surround myself with better people is that as you begin to bring light to the things that you hide in the darkness, it begins to get easier. It loses it's intensity and you begin to realize that living in the light and sunshine is a much better place. It's contagious when you start to see yourself become a better person, when you see a business thrive, and when you see that you, as a person who is not that special can still make a huge impact on people's lives. You also learn that almost everyone has already dealt with those things that you're scared of. The things that keep you up at night, the fears and failures, and darkness, people have been dealing with that for thousands of years. The good thing is that there are lots of people that can not only help with that but also teach you how to help others. What once scared you can become something that has zero power over you. I can testify to this. It's so worth it.
In order to get better surround yourself with better people. It's that simple.
Peace